After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
