I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
