Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Where is the hickey?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
