dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize