She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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