I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
