Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
