You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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