absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
