70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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