I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
