im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
