So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
