just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im holly from the hills drunk
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Randomize
