I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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