Your mouth is God's brothel.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
