We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize