So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
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