so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
