Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
