hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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