Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
