You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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