If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
