need another drink. this is the easiest way
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
