I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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