Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
