what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
