And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
