It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
