im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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