Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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