you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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