i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize