Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
