my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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