Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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