she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
