i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
