Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
