why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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