We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
