we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
