I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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