: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
