He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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