Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
