he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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