He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
