So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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