i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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