Me too!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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