I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
