You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
