hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I think my vagina is haunted
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
