There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Alive.
So much puke
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
