when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
