Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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