Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
