Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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