So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
