i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There r osticjed everywhere
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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