all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
